Sohail Abid

Backpacking the world on a Pakistani passport, one country at a time

Dear male friends

Dear male friends,

The girls you know, the girls you want, the women you respect, and the women you hate, all of them are a person in their own. Apart from being someone’s sister, daughter, mother, or wife, they are just themselves. Girls and Women. I know this sounds obvious. But it is not.

Have you ever noticed that you are a person by yourself in addition to being a son or a brother? That you want to be in control of your life and your choices? It’s so obvious that you don’t even notice that. But you are. You are a person. In your own. You decide what you want. You do what you want. You have that control.

But that’s not the life your mother had and your sisters and daughters have. You are you. They are only your sisters and your daughters. Your friends and other people can taunt you about them. About the choices they may or may not make. You fear that. “What if your sister is sitting with someone else?” they say. And that makes your blood boil. You decide who you want to pursue. They are cautious about who they like and if they should pursue them. They have this burden. Of being your daughters and your sisters. Of you.

You don’t need to control them. You don’t need to decide for them. Just like they don’t get to control you or decide for you. It’s only fair. It’s only humane. Do the right thing. Lose control. Don’t be a man, be a human.

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